Ha ha ha ha ha.

‘Getting married is like having a donut in front of you but there are so many barriers that stopped you from getting the donut(Najib, 2008).

Haha. Eleh Najib. At least you already have Soya. Huh.

That’s one quote coming from a man with few words. Well, he used to be one. Thanks to Soya and her wonders. Alah lah. And now, let’s hear from the man with lots of funny quotes. Thanks to an email fowarded by Jaja.

*drum roll*

Dato’ Seri Samy Vellu.

*clap clap*

Samy Vellu on Pos Laju: ‘Besok kirim, hari ini sampai.’

On TV, when he was trying to say that he was ashamed: ‘Kemaluan saya besar.’

During a public talk:
SV: ‘Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orang-orang kampung di sini.”
Pak cik: ‘Dato’, di sini tiada sungai, buat apa bina jambatan?’
SV: ‘Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!’

He’s favourite quotes on national television: ‘Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah?!’

During a water crisis: ‘Semua orang diminta jangan membuang aiyerrr..!’

On social problems among youngsters: ‘Orang-orang muda sekarang banyak hisap dada.’

During a blood donation campaign in Sg Siput: ‘Marilah kita semua menderma dara.’

In his speech in different functions: ‘Selamat datang saudara-mara semua.’

During the height of the Al-Arqam saga: ‘Saya gembira bahawa didapati tiada pemuda MIC terlibat dalam kes Arqam.’

In an opening ceremony: ‘Mempersilakan Datin Paduka Rafidah Aziz naik ke pentas untuk membuka kain.’

Commenting about his modesty (again): ‘Sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar.’

On PAN:
SV: ‘Kita sudah berjaya hantar satu astronout ke ISS. Selepas ini kita hantar dia ke matahari pula.’
Reporter: ‘Tapi Dato’, bagaimana kita nak lakukannya?’
SV: ‘Kita hantar dia pada waktu malam.’

On squatters area:
Someone: ‘Dato’, kawasan itu tiada bekalan elektrik.’
SV: ‘Takpa, kita kasi api sama dia!’

Go ahead. Laugh out loud. Hahahahaha. Laughter is surely is the best medicine.

Announcement and Giant

My sisters and I went to Giant today. As soon as we got out of the car, this is what we heard.

Announcer: Attention staff from the ladies depart. Staff from the ladies depart.
The three of us: Aaa? Depart? Ape tu? Hahahaha.
Announcer: Attention staff from the ladies depart.
The three of us: Hahahahahaha.
Me: Depart pegi mane ni weh?

And this, when we got out of Giant.

Me: Takde announcement ke ni? Hahaha.
In an instant.
Announcer: Attention staff from the cashier depart. Mr F****** from cashier depart.
Jaja: Haa tu. Hahahahahaha. Nak sangat.

And I remember the time Jaja and I went there a few months ago.

Announcer: Attention to all customer, Giant will be opened until twels midnights tonight.
Both of us: Twels midnights? Hahahaha.

No, I didn’t mean to laugh. But come to think of it, you need to make announcement using the right words and the right pronounciation. Depart, maybe a short one for department. But depart has another meaning. And, twels midnights? I just can’t help but to laugh.

Hepi Pipel.

Kami hepi pipel. Hepi pipel in the haus. Kenapa gelar diri sendiri hepi pipel? Sebab kami memang hepi. Ini ciri-ciri hepi pipel. Warning, panjang senarai hepi pipel ni. Biarlah, sebab kami hepi pipel.

  1. Hepi pipel tak saiko, tak emosi.
  2. Hepi pipel sentiasa positif, gelak selalu.
  3. Hepi pipel chatting diselangi hahaha. Mesti respon dengan hahaha.
  4. Hepi pipel respon sms dengan haha jugak.
  5. Hepi pipel sesuka hati duduk atas kerusi osim setengah jam, tanpa rasa segan.
  6. Hepi pipel boleh hangover minum green tea je.
  7. Hepi pipel smile.
  8. Hepi pipel dun cry.
  9. Hepi pipel recover dari tangisan dalam jangka masa yang sekejap.
  10. Hepi pipel suka pasar ikan.
  11. Hepi pipel suka kepci.
  12. Hepi pipel suka naget kepci.
  13. Hepi pipel ada potensi makan banyak sebab senang hati.
  14. Hepi pipel tengok pameran kucing.
  15. Hepi pipel bet football match.
  16. Hepi pipel kalah bet, kena belanja tiket wayang, popcorn dengan coke.
  17. Hepi pipel tengok cerita Duyung.
  18. Hepi pipel hafal lagu Aspalela.
  19. Hepi pipel gelak kuat-kuat kat Kordi (Awie) yang nyanyi lagu Bola-bola Api.
  20. Hepi pipel bebel bila perlu sahaja.
  21. Hepi pipel duduk online kat Starbucks dengan hepinya.
  22. Hepi pipel gelak-gelak bila tak boleh online kat Starbucks.
  23. Hepi pipel tawaf fud court KLCC tiga kali.
  24. Hepi pipel cari fud yang amountnya banyak.
  25. Hepi pipel duduk kat surau tunggu maghrib.
  26. Hepi pipel tau yang wudhu’ and solat always do the trick bila rasa down.
  27. Hepi pipel kongsi wang bagi donation.
  28. Hepi pipel lepak kat dua Starbucks dalam satu hari.
  29. Hepi pipel argue location Starbucks kat KLCC.
  30. Hepi pipel cari power port untuk pasang laptop.
  31. Hepi pipel tak komplen depan fud, walaupun fud tak berapa sedap.
  32. Hepi pipel malas kopek udang.
  33. Hepi pipel tolong kopek udang.
  34. Hepi pipel dapat lagi satu udang sebagai upah mengopek udang.
  35. Hepi pipel kena tepuk kepala dalam panggung wayang. (hahahaha)
  36. Hepi pipel gelak kat mak cik sebelah yang nangis tengok Duyung.
  37. Hepi pipel pakat nak curi popcorn akak sebelah.
  38. Hepi pipel koh koh coughing sama-sama.
  39. Hepi pipel sniff selsema sama-sama.
  40. Hepi pipel tarik lengan baju sama-sama sebab kesejukan. (tarik lengan baju sendiri ya)
  41. Hepi pipel naik tren yang sama, tapi tak terserempak pon.
  42. Hepi pipel transfer files.
  43. Hepi pipel kutuk window Vista.
  44. Hepi pipel redha je window Vista kena kutuk.
  45. Hepi pipel nyanyi lagu en sing sama-sama kat y! selepas pulang ke rumah masing-masing.
  46. Hepi pipel addicted to Chantek.

Apa lagi ya? Tambah la lagi kalau ada. Hepi pipel in the haus. Yeyeh!

:|

I woke up this morning to Mama’s phone call. She told me that she’s going to perform another round of umrah somewhere in the end May. This time around, she going with Atok, Nenek, Arep, Pak Cu and Mak Cu. I am happy for her, for the news but I can’t help feeling envy and jealous that Arep is going. When she told me that Pak Cu asked Atok to bring her instead of him, I was hoping that what she’s going to say next is, ‘I’m taking all of you as well.’ Well, as you probably have guessed, no, that’s not what she said. She’s taking Arep along so that he’ll already have the experience when he needs to take us or his wife later. I understand that. I understand that, insyaAllah, I’ll have my husband to guide me and to take me to the Holy land to perform both umrah and hajj. But, umrah is something big. Something very spiritual and personal and private that I guess when your parents take one of your siblings along and not you, deep down inside you feel jealous. No matter what the reason is or how valid the reason is for not taking you along. So right now, after 14 hours hearing the news, I’m still a bit sad and disappointed that I am not able to go with them. Alah lah.

😐