finally, today!! after emotions have been poured out in the last entry about having no money, surviving under 30 pound for about 3 weeks, and having to pay ur holiday and monthly phone bills and also ur kindhearted friends, the numbers in the account banks have finally change..no more tens and units in the acoount..the numbers galloped that my eyes popped out form the socket and i screamed at the numbers..Alhamdulillah..the stucked-somewhere-money has safely arrived in my account.. :-D..*big grin*
Category Archives: Emotions Revealed
.:moNey:.
money seems to be the biggest issue rite now.. its already the 9th of november and still there is no sign of allowance coming in..im currently trying my best to live under the 30 pound that i had since the last 2 weeks..it gets much harder when by the end of next week, you have got to pay the balance for one of ur holidays and also your monthly mobile phone bill..and that doesn’t include the money that you have got to pay back to some of your friends who kindheartedly let you borrow some money to pay some things..*sigh*..by the time i get my allowance, one third of it will be spent on paying my debts..thank God i’m a royal mail christmas casual worker and starting working at the end of this month..at least i got some money coming not from the KPM..and hopefully royal mail doesn’t delay the weekly paycheck..
sye rindu ayah~~
Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle
There’s two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven and she’s daddy’s little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all the joy in my life
Oh but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk beside the pony, daddy, it’s my first ride”
“I know the cake looks funny, daddy, but I sure tried”
In all that I’ve done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning and butterfly kisses at night
Sweet sixteen today
She looks like her momma, a little more everyday
One part woman the other part girl
To perfume and make-ups form ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in the great big world
But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
“You know how much I love you, daddy, but if you don’t mind,
I’m only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time”
With all that I’ve done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night
All those precious time
Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly
She’ll change her name today
She’ll make her promise and I’ll give her away
Standing in the bride room just staring at her
She asked me what I’m thinking
And I said “I’m not sure,
I just feel like I’m losing my baby girl”
She leaned on me
Gave me butterfly kisses with her momma there
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
“Walk beside me, daddy, it’s just about time”
“Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?”
“Daddy don’t cry”
Oh with all that I’ve done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly kisses
I just couldn’t ask for more
Man, this is what love is
I know I gotta let her go
But I’ll always remember
Every hug in the morning
And butterfly kisses at night…
Cures for Love: Which One?
*referring to the previous entry..
Wendy Cope said that there are two cures for love.. I kinda believe her actually.. However, there are a few questions worth thinking about..
- Which one do you think is easier to be done?
- Which one do you think has less risk?
- Which one do you think is much more painful than the other?
- Which one do you think will make you happy?
Come to think of it.. I dont think one way is easier than the other.. Or that the one way that we picked will not be hurting us anymore and we live happily.. Both ways have its own pros and cons.. I dont know what they are until I myself came to a junction of life and i need to decide which one of the two is best for me..
“I came to know him about a year ago.. About a few months of knowing him, he told me he has a gf.. I dont mind.. I thought that i really want to be friends with him.. And so i have to make the big decision: Wendy Cope’s Cure No 1 or Cure No 2..
Without thinking much, I opted for Cure No 2.. Yes, it was fun at the beginning.. I was happy.. I thought that by being friends, he will soon realise how cool and laid-back I am that he will come running back to me.. However, being happy and fun was only temporary.. The happiness and fun did not last long.. I felt hurt.. I felt like being stabbed by a big sharp knife each and everytime he mentioned about her.. I felt torn when he did things that no one would accept.. But, I was in denial.. I keep on telling myself that it was OK.. And it’s gonna be OK.. I told myself that this will end sooner or later.. He wont do it again.. And i kept denying myself.. Even my mom could not wake me up from the denial.. Sorry Maa..
About 10 weeks ago, I came to my senses..I became tired of living my life in denial.. Friends woke me up from my dream.. I snapped back to reality.. I abandoned Cure No 2, looked for strength and courage and went after Cure No 1.. It was not easy at the beginning.. I was tempted to dial his number and talked like we used to.. But, I have to be strong.. I cant live in denial again.. After 10 weeks of not-calling-him-during-the-weekends, I became much stronger.. I realised that I am not at loss of anything, not even him and not even one thing.. I accept that this is what life has got to offer and I accept the fact that this is what God has arranged for me and this is what is best for me..”
I am now happy that i left Cure No 2 and went after Cure No 1.. But I am not saying that Cure No 1 is way better than the other.. However, in my case, it is better that the other.. Only after I went through both cures for love.. 😉
*Dear friends (you know who you are),
Thanks for bringing me back to reality and giving me the courage and strength that I needed very much to go through this period of life..Thanks..I heart you..