Saya rindu ayah saya.

Semalam, 17hb November 2007.
Genaplah enam bulan pemergiannya.
Tak terkata kerinduan di hati. Terlalu tebal.
Masih belum puas dengan kasih sayang yang dicurahkan.
Masih menginginkannya.

‘Ku harungi hari demi hari, bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali.’

I miss.

Al-Fatehah.
Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.
Amin.

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*UPDATED*

Sesudah entri dipos, air mata mula bertakung. Ah, telefon Mama. Bagitahu, sangat rindu sama Ayah.

Tut tut, tut tut, tut tut.
Hello, Alin.
Hello, Mama kat mana?
On the way nak pergi sekolah. Kenapa?
Semalam 6 bulan. (air mata menitis laju).
Sekejap je kan, 6 bulan dah. (turut menangis).

Biarlah kami menangis.
Kami rindukan orang yang sama.

Air mata menitis lagi.
Ya Allah, berikanlah ku kekuatan. Tabahkanlah hati ini.

Orkid-lah!

Me: Maa, Alin beli buku Nigella Lawson dengan Jamie at Home. Tengok-tengok resipi kat situ.
Mama: Buku ape?!?
Me: Ala, Nigella, pompuan yang masak-masak tu.
Mama: Oh.
Me: Dengan Jamie at Home.
Mama: Oh, Jamie Oliver tu.
Me: Ha’ah. Kan selalu kita tengok dalam TV kan dia petik-petik, cabut-cabut je dari garden dia kan, pastu terus masak kan.
Mama: Ha’ah.
Me: Yang Alin beli ni buku rancangan yang tu la. Dalam tu ada ajar macam mana nak tanam sayur-sayur, kentang, bawang semua. Mama pon boleh belajar.
Mama: Haa, oklah tu. Nanti dia pon boleh belajar tanam orkid dengan Mama.
Me: …….. Hahahahaha. *gelak guling-guling*

The good girl.

We were sitting together at the kitchen when Ainee told us about one of her childhood act, that she stuck a chewing gum to a friend’s hijab. Wani then told us about the day she went cycling that her father had to go out and find her. I told them that I have nothing similar during my childhood years. Whatever happened to me were mostly accidental and the scars that I have were not caused by being naughty.

Many may realised that I have two scars from stitches above my right eyes. I got the first scar when I was about four or five. At that time, I have started helping my mother in the kitchen. I remembered putting a chair next to the stove and wanting to stir her cooking. My brother’s nanny wanted to get something out of the drawer and as she was pulling out the drawer, I fell and my head hit the cabinet. Hence, I was taken to a clinic to get a few stitches just below the right eyebrow. I wouldn’t consider that to be my fault or I was naughty, I was just helping out. I was in Standard One when I got the second scar. I was standing at the door waiting for the teacher to come in. The wind was blowing hard. It blew the door and the door hit me right on my head. The hit left me with stitches just above my right eyebrow. I wasn’t being naughty, I got the scar because the wind was blowing. Ainee kata parut sebab kena tiup angin.

Once during kindergarten, I fell out of the van that took me to school, and I’m sure that I didn’t jump out of the van or did any stunt that caused me to fall. I’m sure that a friend has pushed me even though I have told her to stop pushing a few times. That fall caused a few of my teeth to fall out of its place. And I guess that’s the reason why my teeth are well structured, compared to my other siblings.

When I was about five, my family including my mother’s youngest brother went to Komtar in Penang to shop. My mother was busy looking at the clothes while I was busy walking in and out of the hanging clothes when suddenly, I couldn’t find my mother. I stood quietly next to a mannequin until one of the promoter was passing by and realised that I wasn’t with my parents. I was then took to the missing child counter. I remembered not crying at all until the announcement was made. Not long after that, I saw my parents coming, laughing that I went missing. They didn’t blame me either. For what I know both my mother and her youngest brother blamed each other. My mother thought that I have followed him to the toilet and he thought that I was with her all the time.

I remembered being the quiet little girl. I remembered that people used to say that I have gold in my mouth just because I didn’t talk very much. I remembered waiting quietly at the stairs for my mother, after I woke up from my nap everyday. I don’t remember my parents or other siblings recalled my bad behavior when I was little, nothing that I could think of. Both Ainee and Wani agreed that maybe I was easy to take care of because I was a good girl. Maybe that’s true. And if it’s true, I have to agree. Tee hee hee.

The good girl with her late father.

Saya pula bila?

Kementerian Sains, Teknologi dan Inovasi ingin menjadikan 10hb Oktober sebagai ‘Hari Angkasawan’, bertujuan untuk memperingati tarikh Dr Sheikh Muzaphar dihantar ke angkasa lepas. Kemudian, terdapat juga cadangan untuk membeli kapsul Sayouz yang akan dijadikan tugu peringatan. Saya hanya terfikir, bila pula tudung Sheikh (ala tudung Mawi) akan dijual di Jalan TAR untuk semua peminat wanita Dr Sheikh Muzaphar? Atau, jika Dr Sheikh Muzaphar menjadi tokoh inspirasi dan aspirasi negara untuk golongan muda, bila pula kita akan melihat topi keledar motosikal ala aksesori kepala sut angkasa lepas berada di pasaran untuk dipakai oleh semua mat rempit di Malaysia? Bila ye?

Mejar Dr Faiz Khaleed pula kena tunggu sehingga tahun 2011 untuk berkahwin atas alasan beliau mungkin tidak dapat menumpukan perhatian kepada latihan sekiranya terlalu teringatkan isteri dan anak-anak. Saya kena tunggu sampai bila pula ya?

Just a piece of my thought.

Press Conference: I’m not a trophy wife.

I, Fazlin Farieza Yussuff, or better known as Alin, will now make a statement that I am not a trophy wife. I have never been and will never be. I was proud to be called trophy wife because I have misunderstood the term. All this while, I thought the term ‘trophy wife’ means a wife whom a husband is very proud of, who is capable of doing anything and everything under the sun or a wife who is like Bree in Desperate Housewives. However, I have read the definition of the term ‘trophy wife’ on Wikipedia, and I was shocked to discover the truth. I have never been taken as a second wife nor a third. Therefore, I will retrieve the statement I made earlier. I am NOT a trophy wife. If you have further questions, kindly post yours in the comment section and I will have them answered as soon as possible. Thank you.

p/s: Thank you to Ainee for linking me to the real definition of trophy wife.