When I received the news that I was posted here, in this school, in Pedalaman Dua, I had never contemplate on whether I should go or not.

All I knew was that I needed to go for a few reasons.

First, I believe that this is the time to ‘pay back’ the money that I have spent on travelling, on clothes, on food, on movies, on shoes and many other things in the duration of five and a half years of studying a degree course. I receive a full scholarship, never once that I needed to pay for any school fees or something like that. So this is the time, no matter where , it is time to pay back.

Secondly, if I had declined this or if I didn’t go to the school which I’m posted to, I myself would stick the ‘SELFISH’ label on my forehead. IMHO, sometimes it is not about you and the world does not revolve around you alone, but it is the fact that people in different places may need your help, your guidance and your knowledge to improve, to make something better or to live a better life. In this case, the children needs you  to provide them knowledge that they are lack access of other than from the teachers. The teachers also need you for whatever that you have, to help them in whichever way is possible.

Thirdly, I know that I get paid for teaching and the pay that I received at the end of every month is a reward for what I have gave. But, deep down inside, having to teach in a school situated in a rural area, I knew that this is could be a humanitarian effort. Teaching in a school like this one could limit you from resources and other facilities. However, you’ll make yourself get use to it and you teach yourself to work with what you have. You have to fork your own money, buy books for the children that you teach, have a few pencils handy because you know these children may not even have one.

When I first came here, we were relying on generators which would start at 6pm and ends just before midnight. That’s the only time when we had electricity. Up till today, we still rely on the rain water that we gather in tanks. Sometimes, our skin and our health had to suffer from having to use rain water, but it is better than having nothing at all. Between March and June last year, our solar hybrid had a major failure that we lived in the dark every single day. We were only able to use the solar for Schoolnet and that was very limited. I was lucky that a colleague of mine had already married and his wife stays with him. Every night after Isya’, I would go to their house, had dinner, chatted for a while, slept in the extra room that they have and went back to my place just after Subuh.

It was tough.

Earlier in the year, I planned for a transfer. However as the application for transfer was open, I did not even filled in the form. I did not even applied for it. Partly because I have not been confirmed yet but  I was also telling myself that I wanted to see how my children have improved and how they have progressed.

The children became part of my life. Teaching became something that I enjoyed this year even though I teach around three to four hours every day. No more combined class this year thus I am able to focus on their ability, what they need and what they should know according to their age group. Tiring, but much easier.

One thing that I noticed as I go into my second year of teaching is that children do not show that they have improved in a very short of time. Last year, there were times when I almost gave up teaching them because they just could not obtain what have been taught. At times I asked myself where did I go wrong because it was just painfully hard to make them understand little things. This year, when one boy can actually read and when most of them could recall what they have learnt in the past year, I just knew that my effort have been paid off. These little things surprised me yet it never fails to lit a smile on my face.

I was called to write about this after watching ‘We are The World’ by Artists for Haiti. It was a collaboration by various artist for the children of Haiti, to boost their spirits after the unfortunate event that had happened to them.

The lyrics gave me shivers. As I listened to the song, I could very much relate to our roles as teachers.

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

We are wherever we are because we need to ‘give’ to the children in whichever place that we are in now.  The knowledge that we have and we provide them, the the guidance that we have to lead them, the hope that we have in them, the feeling of care and love that we have for them will shape our children to become a better person and lead a better life.

Seeing our children pass a test, seeing them being able to count, to read and write or even utter a few simple words in English will definitely make a teacher’s day.

So let’s start giving because it is true that we will make a better day.

🙂

We did not managed to talked to GB yesterday since he came in just to sent the two new teachers. However, the saikopath did apologized to my colleague. So we are letting him go this time. If he ever did the same once again, my colleague and I are going straight to the GB.

This morning, the saikopath came to the library to chat. I ignored him by continued writing my RPH and so he started to ask how did my ‘engagement ceremony’ went and so forth. Sangat laaaaa penyebok. I also told him that I could not manage teaching 37 periods of English, and he replied, ‘Takpa baa, boleh elak dari kamu rindu-rindu orang sana.’ I knew he meant no harm, but I found that a little bit annoying. So I told him off in a higher tone that this is not a matter of missing my loved ones, but the fact that I cannot manage the library if I have to teach 37 periods of English.

Sigh.

For all he had done, I found myself avoiding and running away from him.

Looking at it positively, maybe this is my ticket for a transfer. Heh.

Oh ya, I’ll be in Sandakan tomorrow to have my medical check up done.

I have a saikopath at my workplace. He is so saiko that when I went home last year due to stress, he made a story that I was getting engaged. He told all my students that I am already engaged.

So penyebok kan, I know.

Not all that, he has been making comments too. And I am not comfortable at all with what he said. I have started to think that this is some sort of sexual abuse at workplace.

I thought I was the only victim. I was not. It seems that another colleague of mine has suffered even worse. And so did many students.

With me, he only gave me verbal comments. Telling me that I look nice and I look better in tudung bawal rather than selendang. This could be compliments, but I do get uncomfortable. Most of the times he would tell me how he misses me after a long break or oftentimes, after I came back from the weekend break. Sometimes, he would say ‘I love you’ in front of my students. Making faces at him does not work. Too blind to see my gestures I guess.

He has now started to get physical with my colleague. He would touch different part of her body and purposely touched her hand when she gave him something. he told her that when she put on some lipstick, her lips look pretty and then made kissing gestures to her. She too, has been receiving a lot of ‘I love you’ from him.

My colleague has personally warned him, but all he said was ‘Kau ni tak sporting baaa.’ He even reminded my colleague not to report this to anyone.

Both of us could not stand his unprofessional attitude. If we do not report this, he could get even worse than what he already did. If we did, and if he knew that it was us who reported about him, He might use his ilmu gelap to get back to us. Plus, he is a local here. The villagers might believe him more than us and he might made it look like we have been making stories.

But, I guess we are not afraid of him. Since we have decided to tell our GB about this, and see how it goes from there.

… bukan orang. Ha ha ha.

The Year 1s in my school are still a lil bit slow in reading, but they love to sit in the library to look at different books available. I was rather busy last week, so I ask some Year 6 pupils to read aloud a story and the Year 1 pupils would then repeat after.

They were all reading nicely when one of the Year 6 pupils read aloud a sentence too long for the Year 1s to follow. This was what the Year 6 pupils said,

‘…banyak atap rumah orang kampung yang bocor.’

The Year 1s could not capture the sentence so they kept quiet except for this one boy. Proudly and loudly, he said,

‘…banyak orang kampung yang bocor.’

Ha ha ha.

Well, orang bocor can mean a lot of things, can’t they?

This is the first raya that I gave duit raya. And since I have only 42 pupils in my school, I have decided to also give to each and everyone of them.

I handed out the duit raya to all who attended yesterday. So when today came, they reminded me that their absent friends are in school and I have not given them yet.

And so, I have faces poking in front of me, smiling widely, hoping that I give them duit raya.You know how kids are lah kan.

Then later came this one girl who is in the kindergarden class. And dengan selamba berkata-kata,

‘Cikgu, adikku di rumah?’

With a tone that I know she is hoping that I’ll hand her another sampul for her little sister.

I walked away and said,

‘Adik kamu tak sekolah lagi.’

Huh. Ini sudah lebey. Berani sudah mintak untuk adik-beradik yang lain.