A nanny who needs idea.

I am currently a full-time nanny with Cikgu Saghah while Jaja is doing it part-time. This current position will last for about two weeks. So, I’ll be spending my three weeks holiday here in KL. We are looking after our three cousins whose parents are performing Umrah with Mama, Arep, Atok, Nenek, Pak Ngah and Mak Ngah. I am fully responsible of Adam, the youngest one of the three siblings. It seems that Adam has to swallow the fact that I am his guardian although he wishes that he gets somebody else to be his guardian. The reason for not wanting me is this:

Pak Cu: Adam, Adam nak tido dengan Kak Long ke, Kak Jaja ke or Kak Alin?

Adam: Kak Jaja.

Pak Cu: Kenapa tak nak Kak Alin? Tido dengan Kak Alin mesti best. Macam pillow.

Adam: Nanti kalau Kak Alin himpit Adam waktu tido, macam mana Adam nak breathe.

Right. Whatever. Aku debab. Yeah, whatever. You can say whatever you want, and still look cute. Haha.

Anyway, can someone suggest some ideas on topics for me to blog? It seems that I can’t find anything interesting to be written about or reflected on.

Selamat Hari Jadi V

[1] In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

[2] Praise be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds;

[3] Most Gracious, Most Merciful;

[4] Master of the Day of Judgment.

[5] Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek,

[6] Show us the straight way,

[7] The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace, those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray.

Dear Ayah,

Things are definitely different without you being here with us. Last Saturday was exactly a year. I wanted to write about you, but I can’t bring myself to do so.

You know, Ayah, there are so many things that I wanted to tell you. Two weeks ago, I’ve sat for my exams and there will be no more exams after this. I cried as I handed in the last paper. I cried because you were not there to witness, or to be told that I have finished the exams. I am used to calling you after exams saying that I’m done with them. Hence, not being able to do so bring tears to my eyes. I will start my practicum somewhere at the end of next month. I have been placed at a school in TTDI. It seems far, but I’ll think we’ll manage. I’ve reminded myself to perform during practicum. I must at least impress my students or the school. And then impress you, and make you proud of me.

As for today, I have just finished a cricket course and will receive a coaching certificate. Which means, I am qualified to coach students. Matches were played under the hot sun to put into practise what we have learned and my team won, Ayah. I finally hit some bowls during the finals and scored some points for my team. The other team was trying to be psychotic with me, not the whole team, but some particular people. But that didn’t put my spirit down. I was even more determined to play. I bowled harder, I gave them a fast ball. I hit their wicket. One batsman down. I gave them another good bowl. It hit their bat, and off they go. Out of the game even before their over is up. Guess what, in all three matches that I played, I hit the opponent’s wicket. Put them down straight away. My arms and shoulders hurt, but it was all worth it.

I’ve chosen my posting area. If luck is on my side, I’ll get a school in the area I’ve requested. I was confused and lost when I need to decide the area. I cried a few times, for I believed that nobody understand the reasons why I choose that area. Assumptions were made, Ayah. And I was sad, disappointed. I have my own reasons. I’ve clearly stated them. But in the end, they said that I have another reason for choosing those areas. A reason which has never crossed my mind. And that hurts even more. If you were still here, you would have given me the strength and support, and you would approve my decisions. I would have you to defend the things I did. But I understand that it is not the same anymore. It won’t be the same.

Ayah, I miss you a lot. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep. The other day, I dreamt about you. I was talking to you, I was telling you about what’s been happening in my life. You were smiling as you listened. Then, you lost it. You died. I woke up in a shock. I told myself that you are still alive and nothing bad is going to happen to you. In fact, you will live longer as people said that if you dream of someone dying then that person will eventually have a longer live. I told myself that. Then it hit me. The fact that you have gone for a year hit me. I was down, but being able to see your face in my dreams put a smile on my face. You have actually came into my dreams. Something that I longed for ever since you went away.

Today is 23rd May, your 55th birthday. Happy birthday, Ayah. Thank you for the 22 years you have spent with me, guiding me through life. I love you from the bottom of my heart. And I want you to know that you have never left the place in my heart, for there where you will always be.

Al – Fatihah.

YUSSUFF BIN MANAS

23rd May 1953 – 17th May 2007

Selamat Hari Guru.

Mulanya malas nak mengarang entri sempena Hari Guru. Tapi bila tengok ramai pulak yang menulis-nulis, rasa macam best pulak. Apa kata kalau tulis je sekali satu entri sempena Hari Guru ni kan. Takde salahnya mana pon.

Bila sebut pasal Hari Guru ni, mula lah terjah memori zaman sekolah dulu. Beria-ia belikan pen. Kadang-kadang beli sampai sepuluh, ye lah ade sepuluh cikgu yang mengajar. Kalau tak bagi kat seorang, takut terasa hatinya. Pen murah-murah je beli. Dulu mana ada duit kan. Pen kilometrico pon dah memadai. Beli satu wrapper yang simple kemudian balut. Selalunya pen warna merah. Sebab cikgu kan banyak pakai pen warna merah. Nak buat tanda buku. Bile besar sikit dah, dah pandai kumpul duit atau duit belanja dah naik sikit, advance sikit hadiahnya, bekas letak pen pula. Kadang-kadang kat tepi bekas ni ade frame gambar. Buat dari kayu, yang dicat kaler coklat gelap kadang kala hitam warnanya. Ini kalau yang mahal, kalau kewangan tak mengizinkan, beli yang ade laci-laci buat dari plastik tu je. Bila balut nampak hadiahnya grand sikit, sebab hadiah duduk dalam kotak. Hanya bagi kat guru kelas je kebiasaannya ataupun cikgu yang paling rapat sekali. Ye lah takkan nak beli kat semua, mana cukup duitnya.

Bila dah masuk sekolah menengah, dah bijak la sikit beli hadiah kan. Kadang-bagi kad, bagi bunga. Kongsi dengan kawan-kawan jikalau hadiah tu mahal. Bila masuk Tingkatan 4 atau 5, kongsi satu kelas terus, beli kain baju kurung, tudung dengan brooch yang matching. Teringat dulu, ada dua orang je budak Melayu perempuan dalam kelas. Bila bab kena beli hadiah je, tak lain tak bukan sayalah orangnye. Kenapa? Sebab guru kelasnya Melayu. Yang budak Cina India selebihnya ni takut beli hadiah nanti cikgu tak kenan. Kemudiannya, bila sambutan Hari Guru, bila bahagian murid naik atas pentas, bagi cikgu hadiah, saya jugaklah orangnya. Kenapa? Sebab saya kan yang beli balut hadiah tu segala bagai. Sayalah yang uruskannya sampai ke ujung. Sampai ke tangan cikgu tu.

Mak saya mengajar lagi sampai sekarang, tapi bila diingat-ingat dan dikenang-kenang, waktu zaman sekolah rendah ke menengah ke dulu, saya selalu beria cari hadiah kat cikgu-cikgu yang mengajar saya. Meredah panas berjalan ke bilik guru semata nak ucap Selamat Hari Guru, Cikgu. Tapi macam tak pernah nak ucap benda yang sama kat mak sendiri. Belikan hadiah jauh lah sangat kalau wish pon tidak kan. Cuma sekarang je wish. Sebab sendiri pon nak jadik cikgu. Tahun depan start pegang title cikgu. Dengan harapan, bila wish kat mak Selamat Hari Guru, dapat balik balasannya. Selamat Hari Guru juga ye. Buruk benar perangai. Padahal, kalau nak ikutkan, sebelum kita pegi sekolah, mak kita lah yang ajar ABC, alif ba ta, one two three, siji loro telu papat limo, segala bagai kan. Kalau mak saya, lepas dia ajar ABC, bila tolong dia kat dapur, dapat lesson lain di dapur. ‘Pinggan ni masukkan dulu dalam almari’. ‘Macam ni susun telur dalam peti ais, yang tajam kat bawah.’ ‘Clearkan dulu dapur sebelum masak.’ Haa, begitulah mak saya, kat sekolah ajar anak orang Ekonomi Rumahtangga. Kat rumah, ajar anak sendiri pulak. Takde bezanya kat sekolah dengan di rumah. Haha.

Pagi tadi ada sambutan Hari Guru peringkat IPBA anjuran Cohort Two, batch saya lah tu. Grand lah jugak. Ada sukaneka main-main game dengan pelajar dulu sebelum berhimpun. Seronok tengok perangai lecturer ni di luar kelas. Sama je macam pelajar-pelajar. Lalu sebelah, ‘What is this?’ ‘Oh, it’s a game of win, lose or draw. Would you like to join? You have to find a team first.’ ‘OK, I’m taking this two lecturers with me.’ Oh senangnye, sporting amat. Terlompat-lompat kalahkan pelajar bila dapat teka. Bila perhimpunan mula, ada perarakan masuk tuan pengarah bersama lecturer semua. Senyum semua bila diberikan bunga ros. Pengarah pon suka. Ada bacaan watikah dari Menteri Pelajaran. Ada ucapan tuan pengarah, biasalah kan. Isi ucapannya pon hebat. Teachers have a hand in nation building. Oh setuju amat. Ada bacaan ikrar. Semangat sudah. Kemudian, nyanyikan Kami Guru Malaysia. Haaaaa, yang ini semangat sangat. Membara. Tak sangka. Semua berikan tepukan kepada diri sendiri seusai nyanyi. Bangga dengan semangat yang ada la tu. Kemudian ada choral speaking. Skripnya handal juga. Terharu bila dengar. Kemudian ada bacaan sajak. Ini pon terharu jugak. Pasal kegigihan cikgu-cikgu dalam mengajar. Ada juga tayangan video. Semuanya handal-handal lah. Habis majlis dalam masa yang ditetapkan. Hebat. Jarang dibuat pelajar IPBA. Tahniah.

Panjang pula entri ni. Ok ok, ini isi terakhir. Isi terakhir saya dedikasi kepada cikgu-cikgu yang pernah mengajar, yang tak pernah mengajar, yang kenal saya, yang tak kenal pon boleh, yang tengah tunggu masa nak pencen mahupun yang dah pencen, yang nak jadi cikgu tahun depan atau tahun yang mendatang. Asalkan ade cikgu kat mana-mana kira valid lah. Yang bukan cikgu tapi mengajar cikgu-cikgu pon boleh. Saya nak ucapkan Selamat Hari Guru kepada semua. Terima kasih atas segala curahan ilmu dan kasih sayang yang telah diberikan. Moga ilmu yang telah dapat, ataupun yang bakal dicurahkan bermanfaat untuk saya dan untuk semua. Sayangilah cikgu anda. Tanpa cikgu siapalah saya sekarang ni. Terima kasih cikgu.

Tahun depan saya jadi cikgu. Saya tunggu lah pula murid-murid ulang balik kata-kata ni kat saya. Bakal ada hadiah mungkin, kalau saya tak garang atau saiko sangat kat bakal anak murid saya nanti. Haha. Akhir kata, guru cemerlang, negara terbilang.

Selamat Hari Guru.

Sekian, terima kasih.

Hepi Mummy’s Day!

Dear Mama,

I hope you have enjoyed this year’s Mother’s day. I’m sorry that two of your children are not at home to celebrate today with you. We’ll make time for it later on.

I’m not sure how you would have feel today. I’m pretty sure you are happy that you have Along and Adik at home with you and that Jaja and I have both given you a call to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day. But, I’m sure today brings you a lot of memories of last year. On Mother’s day you took care of both Ayah and Adik who were down with fever. Adik recovered but not Ayah. We lost him a few days later.

I envy the strength you have in bringing us up. I remembered the time when I was having an asthma attack late at night. You brought me to the clinic at four a.m. and when I wasn’t feeling much better, you took me to the hospital a few hours later. You managed that alone when everyone else was fast asleep.

You were strong in dealing with everything that Ayah has left us. You were even stronger when Ayah was admitted into the ICU at that time. You were strong in every word that you said to lift us up when we were feeling down or when we miss Ayah very much. Today, you were the strongest I have seen. And I believe you will be even stronger in each day yet to come.

Mama,

I am proud to have you as my mom and not anyone else. Thank you for all the love and care that you have given us. Thank you for the roof you have put on our head, for making it as cozy and homey as it should be. Thank you for all the clothes, making us look decent and nice every time. Thank you for all the lovely food you have been feeding us. Thank you for everything.

I love you, Mama. You are always in our hearts. And Ayah’s too.

Happy Mother’s Day!

With lots of love,

Alin

Eighteen

18 years ago and this is how we looked like. And after 18 years, let’s see how far (and big!) we’ve become.

So, what happened in the duration of that 18 years?

The one on your far left graduated from University of Warwick and is currently working as a revenue analyst. Next to her has undergone matriculation and is currently doing a degree course in Manufacturing Engineering in UTEM, Ayer Keroh. The one in the middle has graduated three times (UTM, UNITEN and IPBA), used to work for a private IT company and now is a primary English school teacher. Next to her is currently doing a diploma/degree (I’m not sure which one) programme in UiTM Shah Alam and has become an uncle to one nephew and three nieces in three years. And on your far right is in her final year in IPBA, has completed her 2nd and 3rd year of her degree course in MARJON and will become a full time primary English teacher next year.

It’s been 18 years or so and I still remember the day Uncle Tamjis took the top picture. And I bet that all five of us wont fit into that swing anymore. We can still try but I doubt it. Hehe.